Apostolic Information Service

Discipline For Youth Leaders
By Abb Thomas

A. Discipline is important. Personal discipline will cause you to become a great leader. Discipline will force you to plan, make ready, and generally to know exactly where you are going.

Primarily, in this section we speak of the discipline that will help direct young minds into an effective learning situation. Discipline problems could almost totally destroy any real learning from the young person.

How Soon – How Far

How soon do we begin with discipline? This must be instilled into the teens mind during his first orientation. He needs to clearly understand that he will submit to the leaders and follow their direction. This rule can be given in love, and with a smile. The child must know that violations will subject him to dismissal.

How far do you go before action is taken? Experience is a great teacher in this, although it is often a rough teacher. Obviously, kids are different. As you discipline one young person all others have indirectly been disciplined. Others see clearly how far you are willing to go with your actions. Stick with your rules, being sure always to “use your head”.

Make a public example of one problem child if necessary. This technique clearly states your stand to the entire group. Discipline – Do it in love and kindness, but DO IT!!

B. The Problem

Someone has said that, “there is a bad apple in every barrel,” and this is nowhere more evident, than in the church youth ministry. Every youth group has a problem teen who always disturbs when he should be quiet.

What are we to do with this type of person:

As a youth leader our goal is to reach and win boys and then teach and train them so that they can reach and win other boys. But what about the trouble-makers? We realize, of course, that a boy needs to grow from where he is spiritually: so we need to accept them where they are and then try to help them mature. But, what can we do with those who will not allow themselves to be taught and who make it nearly impossible for those who wish to be taught?

The problem, therefore, is: “How can we reach the troubled boy and at the same time meet the needs of the more ‘socially adjusted ones?”

C. The Problem Teen

In order to answer the above problem it is necessary to first understand why problem boys are problems.

There are basically three types of problem boys who disrupt and make effective teaching and other activities difficult.

(1) The Hostile boy who is rebellious and angry and disobedient and may even engage in fighting Many of out bus children are what we could call hostile children. The hostile person is usually very insecure and has a deep feeling of being unwanted. Many children who are from broken homes or who have much parental rejection will develop hostility. They feel unwanted and because of this, anger builds up and they will vent it in any way they can.

(2) The Nuisance boy, who is not actively rebellious; but he continually does things to gain attention. The things he does are always in the line of pestering someone, practical joking, etc. Many boys of this type go around and punch other boys and pinch them, etc. This boy usually comes from a home background where there is lack of attention and love. He craves attention and being a nuisance is the only way he knows how to get it. Note: _A proven principle of counseling is that _a person would rather have negative attention than none at all. In other words boy who is craving attention would rather be scolded or reprimanded for his actions (because this is still attention) than to have no attention at all.

(3) The Clown Boy who is also craving attention; but who tries to get it by his clowning around. He is the most easy to accept because his activities are not as annoying as the two preceding; but his problems are no less sincere. He wants attention and he can get it by his activities. He may make bird calls while you are teaching, throw paper airplanes or do just about anything for a laugh. In summary, thus, it should be clear that problem boys are problems because they have a need in their life which must be met. They need to feel wanted or they need affection and they will try to get it in any way possible. Our Goal: We need to find a way to meet their needs in a way which does not produce undesirable behavior, because undesirable behavior is so disruptive to teaching situations that no one can learn.

D. The Principle

1. In General

The Bible demands obedience and boys should obey their parents and others in places of authority.

Note the following:

“Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” Col 3:20

“Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers.” Rom. 13:1a

“Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves.” Heb. 13; 17a

“He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuses reproof erreth.” Prov. 10:17

You, as a leader must not tolerate continual lack of obedience.

2. In Specific

a. The importance of requiring obedience.
First, the Bible commands it.
Secondly, you only have a short time with your pupils so you must make the best of it.
Thirdly, the effectiveness of your teaching makes it mandatory.
Fourth, your boys want discipline. They will respect you for requiring and enforcing it.

b. The Importance of your attitude.
(1) Your teaching should be so wellprepared and stimulating that the boy will not want to disturb.
(2) You should make your pupils or boys feel wanted so that they will not have to act up.
(3) You should show affection to your boys through your interest (NOT PHYSICAL AFFECTION, SUCH AS HUGGING, ETC…) in them and sincere love toward them.
(4) You should pray for the problem boy everyday that God will work in his life, INSTEAD of
criticizing him.

E. Some Practical Notes

1. Other reasons for disruptive behavior

a. Poorly prepared lessons

b. Poor accommodations and materials

c. Poor application of teaching to age of pupils.

Note: A boy will not and cannot sit still for a solid hour while you “teach” them. A junior age pupil has an attention span of about 1220 Minutes. If you do not vary the material and approach he will not sit still.

2. Some preventive measures to stop problems before they happen.

a. Keep eye contact with your pupils while teaching.

b. Have program perfectly planned so that “free time” to become restless is at a minimum.

c. Get to know your boys personally so that they will learn to love and respect you and they will not want to disturb.

d. Teach them from the Bible that God requires everyone to be obedient to those who are in authority.

e. It is impossible for boys to sit motionless for a long period of time. Use action methods in your teaching, such as singing choruses while standing, move into groups, etc. Your lessons are geared this way.

f. A boy will be quiet when he is interested in what he is doing or what you are
saying. Make everything you do interesting.

g. When a boy is disturbing, call the name of the boy and include him in the story
you are telling or in the lesson while you are teaching.

h. Be prompt in starting and ending a class.

i. Never make rules that you won’t follow consistently.

j. Give awards for good behavior. Have a special chair picked out and at the end of class give a prize to the person sitting in that seat if he was good. When a noted rebellious boy manages to do good then have his chair be the one which won, etc.

3. Some emergency measures to handle problems when they arise.

a. Never let a disruptive boy ruin your class. Put them out of the class if you have tried everything and nothing works.

b. If a pupil disrupts while you are teaching, try above. If this does not work, stop teaching and look at the problem boy.

c. Another method is to ask the problem boy a question and try to get him involved.

Have a personal conference with the boy after the meeting is over and insure him that he is wanted and that you want him to behave or you will have to expel him form the class. If the personal conference does not work then have a talk with the parents if this is possible. As a last resort put the child out of the class.

Never Sacrifice The Benefit Of Your Whole Class For One Person.

Remember to try and not meet a boy’s basic need for attention by showing attention to their misbehavior. If it is possible to ignore it until you can have a personal conference with them then do so. But if the behavior disturbs others then stronger action may be needed.

Some Ways To Promote The Youth Group

The following is a list of ways in which the youth group can be promoted:

A. INDIVIDUAL: The most outstanding and influential advertising or promotion is the teen himself. An enthusiastic teen can do more for building a youth group than all of the following combined. Therefore, striveto change the life of the teen to conform to the Scriptures and others will see his life and follow after it. And a teen who is filled with the Spirit of God cannot help but be enthusiastic.

B. DIRECT MAILING: A personal letter to a teen could be one of the most influential things that a youth director could do. When a teen visits the group for the first time write him a personal letter. Also duplicated advertisements of forthcoming activities are beneficial in reaching a wide group of teens.

C. HANDOUTS: These are generally for promotional purposes proclaiming a future event. These can be given to all the Sunday School teens and passed out on visitation. These can be given out door to door in shopping areas or anywhere. They are especially helpful when trying to reach a great number of teens for some evangelistic rally.

D. POSTERS: These can be made by the teens or done professionally and placed anywhere that they will gather attention. Often times a “blowup” of a handout. can be used as posters.

E. NEWSPAPERS: Many successful youth groups have their own newspapers either made by the teens or by the leaders. Also the local newspaper is always in need of some interesting news.

F. TELEPHONING: Have teen phoners who call all absentees or firsttime visitors and thank them for coming and ask them to come again. Have a phone canvass with all teens on the mailing list being called and notified of a special event coming up.

G. CALENDAR: Have pocket calendars professionally printed with all of the youth group activities on them with promotional materials added.

H. BULLETIN: Have a short paragraph in EVERY church bulletin telling of the events of the coming week.

I. RADIO/TV: If these are available to the youth group have a weekly teen program or have teens give testimonies occasionally on the regular church program.

J. BULLETIN BOARDS: These can be placed in strategic positions around the church to announce events or forward some program.

K. VISITATION: At the regular teen visitation during the week the teens and leaders will promote the group while soulwinning. If you can’t win them to the Lord on the street you can at least interest them in the program and they may come and give you another chance to win them.

L. SKITS: These are a good way to promote an activity or event. Have the teens work up something funny or exciting and use this to announce some event.

M. GIMMICKS: These are such things as pencils, balloons, stickers, lapel buttons, rulers, etc. The youth group can purchase these cheaply and use them to promote the group.

N. CLOTHING: A catchy name for the youth group or a catchy design with a good drawing can be put on T-shirts, sweat shirts, jackets, hats etc., to advertise the group.

O. BILLBOARDS: These can be rented and are rather expensive but if a large event, such as citywide youth revival, is being held then these can reach many people.

P. YOUTH DIRECTOR: He is perhaps the most important promoter of the youth group in the local church. Some principles to follow are;

1. Be a church man. In other words, stand behind the Pastoral leadership of the church and constantly promote the total church program to the youth.

2. Know every worker in the church and have a file of names and phone numbers and keep them informed of all youth group events that affect them.

3. Be the first person to welcome new families, especially those with teenage children. Visit all new teens the first week they visit the Church and promote the youth group.

4. Take opportunities to speak or be introduced before different agencies of the church.

5. Keep the pastor informed o£ all events and give him a calendar of events and after each event inform him of the results.

6. Send letters for appreciation to all who help in events.

Q. BOOKLETS: A small book on some subject can be made for the teen to read (dedication, fear, etc.) and on each booklet give promotional maternal for the youth group.

These are a few ways in which the youth group can be promoted. The idea conveyed was that any legitimate idea can be used to promote the youth work. There are many more than these and the user will have to use his imagination in discovering them.

Excerpted from: “Teen Leadership Manual”
Compiled and edited by Abb Thomas

Three Great Youth Leaders Address Three Urgent Needs
Compiled by Ron Fitch

Article One: the parent trap
By Mark DeVries

Do these lines statements sound familiar? “These parents never volunteer.” “Our parents keep complaining that they don’t get enough information, but I email them every week!” “What am I—a baby-sitting service?”

Now that I’ve sat on the other side of youth ministry—the parent side—for almost 15 years, I’m seeing parents from a totally different perspective. With my kids grown and out of the house (well, mostly), I see how desperately I needed help from their youth leaders. Here’s why:

I was tired. Most parents of teenagers are exhausted. They’re logging more hours at work, bouncing between obligations, sometimes caring for aging parents, and juggling the exploding time time-bombs called teenagers. It isn’t that they don’t want their kids involved in youth ministry; they just can’t keep all the balls in the air. (If anyone should understand that feeling, it’s youth pastors, right?)
I wanted help. I longed for someone who could make my parenting job a little easier. I wanted my kids to spend time with godly adults, but I didn’t have the time or energy to force them to attend youth group. I wanted them to want to go.

Recently, I sent an e-mail to parents of all the kids we hadn’t seen in the previous three months. I was overwhelmed by the response. Parents poured out their hearts and expressed their gratitude, and —some pleaded for help in re-engaging their kids.

I felt like a failure. We weren’t having meals together regularly enough. We weren’t having family devotions consistently. We were mad at our kids more than we wanted to be.
Expecting perfection in parents is as short-sighted and misdirected as parents expecting perfection from us. If we hope to receive grace from parents, it starts with extending grace to them.

When most of us think of parent ministry, we think programmatically—parenting classes, family retreats, and cross-generational activities. But keeping parents on board with our youth ministry begins much more subtly. It begins, simply enough, by communicating relentlessly that we’re on their team.

By learning parents’ names, noticing when their kids have been missing, and responding to criticism with non-anxious grace, we communicate that we’re one of the few people who are consistently for them.

Maybe we can reset the default button from complaint to support, viewing parents as partners rather than as threats. Then we’ll begin to accomplish the kinds of things we can do only together.

Article Two: pleasing pushy parents
By Danny Bowers

The phone in my office has a little red light. It’s small and not really an important feature of the phone. Actually the phone works just fine whether the light is lit or not. But I dislike that red light. It means there’s a voicemail waiting to be retrieved. The reason I don’t like that red light is because of who may have left the message.

I think many of us have a hard time trying to figure out how to deal with certain types of parents. I call them Agenda Parents. The sole reason they call you, talk to you, or email you is because they have an agenda that they feel needs to be your agenda. My favorite moments are when they “just happened to be driving by the church and saw your car here” so they stopped in to “talk”…but the talk isn’t casual, it’s intentional.

Before you think I’m anti-parents, please know I love parents. There are times I actually love working with parents more than with teenagers. I enjoy their feedback, ideas, life learnings, and suggestions (good or bad).

I just don’t enjoy Agenda Parents.

I’ve learned that Agenda Parents are often either misinformed about certain situations or they just want something a certain way. Here’s how I’ve learned to interact with them.

Listen. When you listen without being defensive it will help the conversation stay civil (hopefully), and it will display a lot of integrity on your part. Most people who are frustrated really want to have their voice heard. If you show enough care to listen, odds will be they’ll do the same to you.

Give enough information and make sure it’s clear. If parents are misinformed, then inform them properly and clearly. Give them the details. Be specific. Help them see the bigger picture. They may be confused about the cost of a camp or why so many changes are taking place. They still may not like the answer, but at least you’ve left no question unanswered for them.

Be the pastor. Care for them, their family, and their kid with a pastor’s heart. Show them pastoral care and love but also remind them of your role. If you’ve made a decision that has the backing of the senior leadership of the church, or you have the authority to make certain decisions, inform parents of that, but not with pride. I’ll never forget when a parent at a church actually went to my senior pastor to ask if I was a “real pastor” or not. Sometimes certain parents do forget your role in the church; let go of the ego and stay humble in those moments.

Be willing to disagree. People who are wired to be people-pleasers can get pushed over by Agenda Parents. Agenda Parents wants it their way, and if you’re a people-pleaser, you may go their way so you don’t lose their support or their son or daughter’s involvement in youth group. But if their agenda doesn’t line up with a kingdom mind-set or the overall direction of the student ministry, you’ll have to disagree. But do so in love and be sure to explain how it doesn’t fit.

For me Christ’s kingdom and the overall direction of the church and student ministry matter more to me than Agendas. I still need to make room for Agenda-based conversations but I need to do my best to use those moments to teach, and help parents see the bigger picture.

Hang in there, be dependent on the power of God, and trust his Spirit to guide your words and conversations when those moments arise.

Time to go check my voicemail.

Article Three: are your volunteers happy or sad?
By Mark Eades

I was walking through a major chain store the day after Christmas to find some deals on Christmas cards—which we’ll provide to our volunteers next December as a way to show care to our youth.

As I was walking through the store some of the employees’ actions were less than ideal. I overheard one muttering a few cuss words. Another stormed away from a customer—visibly upset, as was the customer from which he was retreating. And one hurried employee about knocked me over in his haste to get somewhere.

Now I understand it’s a stressful season for retail employees, so I wasn’t too surprised. But what really stood out to me was the contrast between this store and the next one I entered. There, the first employee I saw was whistling a Christmas song with a big smile on her face. Another one walked by with a full cart of returns, humming to himself. The employee helping me not only answered my question but took me to the Christmas cards.

What made the difference between Store A and Store B? I think one of the reasons Store B’s employees were so much happier was how they were managed—they seemed to feel valued.

This made me think about how I manage the ministry I’m in. For example, just today I had to sit down with a couple of my volunteers who approached me with some concerns about how I handled a situation.  Now I could have become really defensive with them but I decided to just listen and hear their concerns.  As I listened I realized I’d made some mistakes, and they had some good suggestions on how those mistakes could be corrected. We walked into that meeting with tensions high but we left it laughing and relaxed.

Each of us has a management style that’s reflected by our team. A look at the health and atmosphere on our team is often a telling reflection of our management style. Some thoughts for you:

* How are you managing things with your team?
* How do you interact with them (lots of tension or calmness)?
* Is there a spirit of grace or of finger-pointing?
* Are your volunteers Happy or Sad?

From: www.youthcommunity.com web site. August 2009

This article “Three Great Youth Leaders Address Three Urgent Needs” was taken from www.youthcommunity.com by Ron Fitch and may be used for study & research purposes only.

This article may not be written by an Apostolic author, but it contains many excellent principles and concepts that can be adapted to most churches. As the old saying goes “Eat the meat. Throw away the bones.”

YOUTH LEADERS AND TIME MANAGEMENT
By: Greg Bixby

The California coast was shrouded in fog that Fourth of July morning in 1952. Twenty-one miles to the west on Catalina Island a 34-year-old woman waded into the water and began swimming toward California, determined to be the first woman to do so. Her name was Florence Chadwick. She had already been the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions. The water was a numbing cold and the fog was so thick she could hardly see the escort boats. Several times, sharks had to be driven away with rifles to – protect the lone figure in the water. Fatigue had never been her big problem in these swims…it was the bone-chilling cold of the water.

More than fifteen hours later, numb with cold, she asked to be taken out. She couldn’t go on. Her mother and her trainer, in the boat alongside, told her the shore was near. They urged her not to quit, but when she looked toward the California coast, all she could see was the dense fog. She asked to be taken out. Hours later, when her body began to thaw, she felt the shock of failure. She had been pulled out only a half-mile from the California coast. A reporter asked, “What was it, Miss Chadwick, that kept you from swimming that 1last half mile?”

“It was the fog,” she replied. “If I could have seen land, I could have made it. When you’re out there swimming and you can’t see your goal, you lose all sense of progress and you begin to give up.” With no land in sight, her motivation was gone.

Let’s look at some ideas to help part time youth workers get out of the fog of “How do I find time to be a youth leader?” and into youth ministry.

GOALS

“Time is life. To waste your time is to waste your life. To master your time is to master your life.”

An important step in taking control of your life is to set goals. Think of goals as a target. The bull’s eye is 100. The concentric rings are 80, 60, 40, and 20. If you aim for 100, you may only hit 80 or even 20. But if you don’t aim for 100, you will hit zero every time.

Make sure your goals are God’s goals. Spend time in the Word and in prayer. Be willing to conform to God’s plan for your life.

Write your goals. If it’s not in writing, then it’s not a goal. An unwritten desire is only a pipedream that will probably never happen. If it’s in writing, then it’s a commitment. Begin by making two lists. Answer these questions:

What are my long-term goals? (3-5 years)

What are my goals for the next six months?

As you answer these questions, let your imagination run free and be intuitive. Write fast and go for quantity. Hey, these lists are written on paper and not in stone! You will be able to scrutinize them a little
later.

Make sure your goals are measurable in time and performance. Schedule completion. Be specific. If the goal is vague, then you can never becertain when you’ve arrived.

Be sure your goals are realistic. If you don’t believe that with God’s help you can achieve it, you won’t pay the price for it. Break the unreachable goal into subgoals. A good idea to help discover a subgoal
is to ask yourself this question: “What would be a good first step toward this Goal?”

Classify your goals. Listed below are four major categories that can be used to assist goal classifying. A great framework for goal setting is also suggested in Luke 2:52, “Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature,
and in favor with God and man.” There are few worthwhile goals in life that won’t fit into one of these spheres.

Increase in wisdom: Intellectual Increase in favor with God: Spiritual
Increase in stature: Physical Increase in favor with man: Social

PERSONAL JOB/CAREER

1. 1.
2. 2.
3. 3.
4. 4.
5. 5.
6. 6.

FAMILY YOUTH MINISTRY

1. 1.
2. 2.
3. 3.
4. 4.
5. 5.
6. 6.

EVALUATION

Another step in taking control of your life is to evaluate your goals. As your life changes, so do your goals. Frequent re-evaluation of your goals insures that you spend time on the things that are important to
you. Once you have set your goals, ask yourself these questions:

1. Is this goal realistic?
2. What is required to accomplish this goal?
3. How much time will be necessary to accomplish this goal?
4. Do I have the ability to accomplish this goal?
5. Will achieving this goal help me feel the way I want to feel?
6. How does working for and reaching this goal affect other significant
people in my life?
7. What is the cost of this goal mentally, emotionally, physically and
spiritually?
8. How does this goal support and reflect my values?

Goal evaluation should be done in some form about every month. This gives you some time for achievement. It also catches areas you discovered were not really top priority. Perhaps your priorities with
the youth have changed due to some survey you took. It will take a few weeks to make the transition to good time organization. Don’t give up or get discouraged. The whole process is simple and well worth the initial time invested.

Let’s look at six reasons why people don’t make goals.

1. The fear of failure
2. Our unwillingness to hurt others
3. The dislike of your job
4. Love of trivia
5. Not having any goals
6. Because it takes time

IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING, YOU AIN’T GONNA KNOW WHEN YOU GET THERE!

PRIORITIES

Everyone operates under some kind of priority system. We may not have a list, but we can pinpoint them by asking three simple questions:

1. What am I anxious about?
2. How do I spend my time?
3. What do I buy with my money?

Jesus made it clear what His priorities were when he answered the lawyer concerning the great commandment. He gives us a hook for all our priorities to hang on. He said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart….You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” His priorities were:

1. God is more important than people.
2. People are more important than things.

A widower who was trying to be both father and mother to his 12 year old girl felt he never had enough time with her. He was really looking forward to the Christmas vacation. He was disappointed when his daughter spent all her time, except for meals, in her room. Finally on Christmas morning, she presented her father with his present…a pair of hand knitted socks. “Daddy,” she said, “I was afraid I wouldn’t get them done in time! I’ve been working on them in my room. Do you like them?”

“Darling,” he replied, gathering her up in a big hug so she couldn’t see his tears, “Of course I do, they’re beautiful! Thank you very much.” But deep in his heart he was thinking how much more he wanted her time, attention and her love. He wanted to talk and to do things with his little girl. A case of good intentions, but wrong priorities!

Establish a Biblical priority system. Use this to test your goals. Everyone needs some sort of practical priority system by which you organize your lifestyle. If you don’t have a specific pattern, give this one a try.

A. God (Matthew 22:36-38)

B. People (Matthew 22:39-40)

1. Immediate family (1 Timothy 5:8)

a. Spouse (Ephesians 5:21-22, 25)
b, Children (Ephesians 6:4)

2. Family of God (John 13:35)

3. Non-Christians (Galatians 6:10)

Set your goals in the order of your priorities. Use the following guide to divide your goals into three priority categories, A-B-C.

1. A – Items of high value to you
2. B – Items of medium value to you
3. C – Items of low value to you

Number the goals. In each priority category, number all the goals 1-2-3 according to their importance. When you have finished lettering and numbering your goals, go back to the four main areas of your life goals (Personal, Family, Career, Youth Ministry) and pick the six most important goals. Begin to work on these first.

Make a daily list of “Things To Do”. This list is the common denominator of successful people. They focus your attention on the activities you need to do to reach your goals. Remake and update your list daily.
Prioritize this activities list using the ABC method. Have only one list, using any style or form, but always write it down.

Start with your A activities and not your C’s. Many people spend time doing C’s because they’re easy and fast. So, you feel like you’re accomplishing something. Always remember the 80/20 Rule!

80% of everything in the world is a category C.

80% of the benefits come from 20% of the activities, so identify and concentrate on the 20% that is of the most value to you.

Sometimes we associate activity with accomplishment. Good time organization is getting more done in the allotted time. It is maximizing output for a given input. Work smarter not harder. We need the Lord’s
wisdom and strength to do this. Remember to pray for the mind of God in your ministry. Time spent with God is an investment and not a waste!

Do it now! Consider the real price tag of procrastination. Problems will usually escalate and the task seldom just goes away. A good cure for getting big or difficult jobs done is the “Swiss Cheese” method. Poke
holes in large jobs with “Instant Tasks”. These are tasks which take only five minutes, but keep the project moving. Do something, just get moving! You will discover the job wasn’t so difficult and you will develop momentum.

FAMILY TIME IDEAS

One very vital area for any part time youth leader to consider is his family. How can I make it working full time and being involved in youth ministry? Won’t my family suffer greatly? The key for your family is
QUALITY TIME. These are some tips that will help you be effective with your family:

A. Set aside one night each week as a family night. Don’t let anything  disturb this family time. Play games with the children. Go to the  park or nearby playground. Read books at home or go to the library.

B. Go away with your spouse for a romantic weekend once every six  months. Get a baby-sitter for the kids and have a good time just being together.

C. Plan a family vacation for a minimum of three days. Your trips don’t  have to be long or far away. Just being together and having fun will be remembered by your children for a long time.

D. Plan one day each month that you can spend with each of your children. Go for a donut breakfast, play dolls or army, go on a bike ride, go shopping at the mall, and give personal attention to each child. Make this day your child’s special day. If you can’t make a whole day of it, spend at least 4-6 hours alone with your child.

E. Listen intently and more often to your spouse and children. Perhaps mealtime could be used to greater advantage in this area.

If you have no children, then take advantage of this fact. You and yourspouse can begin by doing everything you can together. All your visitation, planning, ministry will be enhanced if your spouse shares
your burden for youth. Living, laughing, learning and enjoying same blessings of God together will be very fulfilling.

YOUTH MINISTRY TIME TIPS

These are some ideas that have been gathered from many various people who have been successful in the youth ministry. Use what helps you, save what you don’t like until you do like it!

1. If your youth group is small, go in with other groups on things. Don’t be afraid to ask another group to some of your activities. This way you can pool resources and have a better activity.

2. Don’t try to do it all yourself. Delegate responsibility to others. Enlist the help of a few adult sponsors that love youth.

3. Meet at least monthly with your volunteer staff for prayer, training, and fellowship.

4. Prepare a good job description for yourself and stick to it!

5. When your time is limited, send your kids letters of affirmation. Buy or make a greeting card and let them know that you are thinking about them.

6. Say something positive to your teens. Compliment them whether alone in a group. This will build their self-esteem.

7. Always arrive early and stay late on youth night to get extra minutes to talk with your teens. You can also communicate with  parents at this time.

8. Don’t take yourself or your circumstances to seriously. Nothing is ever as good as you think it is. The flip side is, nothing is ever as bad as you think it is.

9. Set up a phone chain to spread the word about upcoming events.  Personal contact is the best method. Ten young people who could call  ten others will personally touch 100 teens in a night.

10. Take a couple days off to prepare for especially busy times during the year.

11. Start a file on each teen. Get family and personal information,  photos, vital statistics, and school records. This will help you get  to know the kids. You will be more effective in your counseling,  too.

12. Plan some early morning or late night activities. The kids will love  the adventure and intrigue. Scheduling conflicts will be at a  minimum.

13. Visit each young person in their home. Ask to see their bedroom.  Notice what they collect and display. This will give you insight  into what they’re thinking.

14. Get adults in your church to “adopt a teen”. Challenge them to  pray daily for their teen and get to know them better.

15. Communicate availability, even though you may be swamped with  work. Just a few minutes of your time let’s them know you really  care.

16. Use surveys and questionnaires to their best advantage. Find out  what young people are thinking and begin to meet their need. Don’t  waste several weeks trying to hit the mark.

17. Keep a fresh flow of creativity. Use brainstorming sessions and be  sure you don’t criticize any ideas. You can always weed out the  bad one later.

18. Develop good job descriptions for your volunteer leaders. This will  help them be most effective and feel less frustrated. You will feel  good too, because they will be getting the job done.

19. Observe your volunteer workers. Catch them doing something right and give them special recognition.

20. Set up a resource library for yourself. Don’t be afraid to get  some youth books. One idea alone can be worth more than the price of  the book.

21. Learn to say “No”. You must keep time for your family and personal interests. Jesus said no at times and there were many things he  could have done.

22. Attend a seminar or workshop on youth ministry every year.

23. Join or develop a youth worker’s fellowship for ideas sharing and  inspiration.

24. Keep your mind fresh. Subscribe to at least one youth ministry  periodical.
25. Don’t depend on immediate results to determines success or failure!  The harvest is at the end of the age, not at the end of your  meeting. Real results come later.

26. Plan several months in advance. This will give you time to prepare a great time for the teens. Don’t be afraid to use an idea in series.

27. Organize at least two retreats and or camping trips each year. This time together is worth a month of meetings.

28. Get away! Accept an invitation to visit another youth group. Turn your youth night over to your staff for one week. You will come home refreshed and with new vision.

29. Build relationships! Youth ministry is a relational ministry! Be people oriented, not program oriented!

30. Love God! Love your wife! Love your kids! Love your teens!

ORGANIZED VS. DISORGANIZED

Maybe you’re saying, “Man, I’ve got this all together. I don’t need to think about managing my time. I do pretty well on my own.” Here are some tips from Gordon MacDonald to tell if you are organized or
disorganized.

1. Your desk takes on a cluttered appearance.

2. The condition of your car is dirty inside and out. You have lost track of the maintenance schedule as well.

3. You become aware of a lowering of your self esteem. You’re a little concerned that people think they aren’t getting their money’s worth from you.

4. You’re disorganized when there are a series of telephone messages you’ve not returned: series of forgotten appointments, and deadlines which you have begun to miss.

5. It’s overtaking you when you tend to invest your energies in unproductive tasks.

6. You begin to feel poorly about the work that you do accomplish.

7. Disorganized Christians rarely enjoy intimacy with God.

8. You’ve arrived when the quality of your personal relationships reveals it by becoming shallow. Maybe you don’t even have significant conversation with your children during the day.

9. When you are disorganized in your time, you just don’t like yourself, your job, or much else about your world.

Budgeting time is the key to being a husband, a father, an employee, a Christian, and a youth leader.

You can do it, but you better DO IT NOW!

BOOKS

Youth Pastor’s Handbook 110 Tips & Time-savers
Strang Communications Co. Youth Specialties
Altamonte Springs, Florida

Ordering your Private World Create In Me a Youth Ministry
Gordon MacDonald Ridge Burns
Oliver Nelson Pub. Victor Books

Brown Bag Seminars or material on time management by Alan Lakein would be very beneficial also.

(The original publisher of the above material is unknown.)

Christian Information Network