~ Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.
~ Car Lot: The best way to get on your feet….Miss a car payment.
~ Church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.
~ Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose?
~ English sign in German cafe: Mothers, Please Wash Your Hands Before Eating.
~ Entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
~ Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!
~ In a beauty shop: Dye now!
~ In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
~ In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.
~ In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.
~ In a dry cleaner’s emporium: Drop your pants here.
~ In a dry cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
~ In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.
~ In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.
~ In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.
~ In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
~ In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
~ In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
~ In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
~ Maternity clothes shop: We are open on Labor Day.
~ On a butcher’s window: Let me meat your needs.
Today’s Thought: Beware of the letter ‘G’! It is the end of everything!
This article “Funny Signs” by Dan Proxey was excerpted from: www.smileaday.com web site. June 2009. It may be used for study & research purposes only.
This article may not be written by an Apostolic author, but it contains many excellent principles and concepts that can be adapted to most churches. As the old saying goes “Eat the meat. Throw away the bones.”