Happy Mother’s Day
By Erma Bombeck
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his Sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”
And the Lord answered and said, “Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 200 movable parts, all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up. Have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart And have six pairs of hands.”
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. “Six pairs of hands! No Way!” said the Angel. The Lord replied, “Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!”
“And that’s just on the standard model?” the Angel asked. The Lord nodded in agreement. “Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.”
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. “This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.” But I can’t!” The Lord protested, “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower.”
The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.” She is soft”, Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish. “Will she be able to think?”, asked the Angel. The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.”
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.” “That’s not a leak” the Lord objected. “That’s a tear!” “What’s the tear for?” the Angel asked?. The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride.”
The Angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything, for WOMEN are truly amazing.”
Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up for injustice.
They don’t take “no” for an answer-Men they believe there is a better solution.
They go without new shoes so their children can have them.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They have sorrow and pain at the loss of a family member.
They are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!
Women do more than just give birth.
They bring joy and hope.
They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have a lot to say and a lotto give.
This article “Happy Mother’s Day” written by Erma Bombeck is excerpted from Mother’s Stand Tall! 1988.