How Guy Friendly Is Your Church?
Guy Roomie
This is a 50-question, non-scientific test that will help you assess your congregation’s “man friendliness.” Choose a number between 1 and 9 for each question. Any number is acceptable (For example, if your church falls between a 3 and a 5, write in “4.”) When you’re done, add up your score and read the scale at the end of the test.
No. Question: Score:
1. Let’s start with first impressions. Does your church have men in the parking lot welcoming people in?
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Rarely
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Often
* 9 – Always
2. How good is your church’s signage (pointing people to the sanctuary, restrooms, classrooms, offices, etc? Include parking lot and roadside signage)
* 1 – No signage at all
* 3 – A few signs
* 5 – Signs at some corners
* 7 – A lot of signs
* 9 – A ridiculous number of signs
3. What condition is your church facility?
* 1 – Old and tired
* 3 – Old but functional
* 5 – Well kept
* 7 – Nicely updated and kept
* 9 – Cutting edge
4. Your sanctuary is decorated
* 1 – Like a ladies’ parlor (quilts, banners, lace and flowers)
* 3 – Somewhat feminine (fresh flowers)
* 5 – Gender neutral
* 7 – Somewhat masculine
* 9 – Intentionally masculine
5. On a typical Sunday, what percentage of the people on stage are men?
* 1 – Under 20%
* 3- 20 to 40%
* 5 – 40 to 60%
* 7- 60 to 80%
* 9 -80 to 100%
6. When you walk into the church, how much of a “buzz” or a feeling of excitement is there?
* Choose a number between 1 (Funeral Parlor) to 9 (The Super Bowl)
7. The quality of our music is:
* 1 – Amateurish
* 3 – Not great
* 5 – Pretty good
* 7 – Very good
* 9 – Professional
8. How often do we sing a song that could become a top-40-love song if the word “Jesus” were changed to “baby”?
* 1 – Every week
* 3 – Monthly
* 5 – At least 10 times a year
* 7 – Two or 3 times a year
* 9 – Never
9. Also regarding the music, what’s the maximum number of times you repeat the same chorus over and over?
* 1 – It feels like 100
* 3 – 10 or more repetitions
* 5 – 5 to 9 repetitions
* 7 – 3 to 5 repetitions
* 9 – We never repeat more than 3 times
10. How long are your pastor’s sermons?
* 1 – 2 hours or longer
* 3 – 1 to 2 hours
* 5 – 30-60 minutes
* 7 – 15-30 minutes
* 9 – Under 15 minutes
11. How often does the pastor include a strong visual component in the sermon, such as a physical object or a film dip? (Words on the screen don’t count)
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Two or 3 times a year
* 5 – At least 10 times a year
* 7 – Once or twice a month
* 9 – Every week
12. Does your pastor choose illustrations and metaphors that appeal to men? (drawn from battle, adventure, sports, survival and the like)
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Rarely
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Often
* 9 – Always
13. How often do individuals share prayer requests during your worship service?
* 1 – Always
* 3 – Often
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Rarely
* 9 – Never
14. How often do children perform in the worship service?
* 1 – Every week
* 3 – Twice monthly
* 5 – At least 10 times a year
* 7 – Two or 3 times a year
* 9 – Never
15. How long does the worship service typically run?
* 1 – 120 minutes or longer
* 3 – 90 to 120 minutes
* 5 – 75 to 90 minutes
* 7 – 60 to 75 minutes
* 9 – Under 60 minutes
16. How much laughter is heard in your worship services?
* 1 – None
* 3 – An occasional bit of laughter
* 5 – We laugh at least once every Sunday
* 7 – We laugh multiple times during each service
* 9 – It feels more like a comedy club than a church service
17. How much racial diversity do you have in the pews?
* 1 – We’re over 95 percent the same race
* 3 – 90 to 95 percent the same race
* 5 – 75 to 90 percent the same race
* 7 – 50 to 75 percent the same race
* 9 – We’re totally mixed, with no dominant racial group
18. How often do you invite people to hold hands or encourage people to hug during your worship service, adult Sunday school or small group?
* 1 – Every time we meet
* 3 – Every other time
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Rarely
* 9 – Never
19. How would you rate the overall quality of your worship service?
* 1 – Amateur hour
* 3 – It’s good enough for church
* 5 – We do pretty good
* 7 – Consistently well done
* 9 – Cutting-edge creativity
20. How often does something completely unexpected happen during your worship services — something so unusual people are startled or shocked by it?
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Two or 3 times a year
* 5 – At least 10 times a year
* 7 – Once or twice a month
* 9 – Every week
21. In your worship service, how emotional do the people become?
1 – Extremely emotional (crying, fainting, hollering)
3 – Quite emotional
5 – Somewhat emotional
7 – Not very emotional
9 – Someone could die and nobody would notice
22. Rate your pastor’s sermons
* 1 – Consistently boring and irrelevant
* 3 – Usually not very good
* 5 – Some are quite good, others not so good
* 7 – Consistently good sermons
* 9 – Astonishing, challenging sermons every week
23. Where does your senior pastor fall on the manliness scale?
* 1 – Feminine
* 3 – Soft
* 5 – Average
* 7 – Manly
* 9 – Jock
24. Where does your worship leader fall on the manliness scale?
* 1 – Feminine
* 3 – Soft
* 5 – Average
* 7 – Manly
* 9 – Jock
25. How active is your church’s men’s ministry?
* 1 – Nonexistent
* 3 – Annual retreat
* 5 – Meets monthly
* 7 – Meets weekly
* 9 – Men meeting regularly in small groups
26. What percentage of your men participates in the men’s ministry?
* 1 – Less than 10
* 3 – 10 to 20
* 5 – 20 to 40
* 7 – 40 to 60
* 9 – You’re lying!
27. What percentage of your lay ministries is headed by men?
* 1 – Less than 10
* 3 – 10 to 20
* 5 – 20 to 40
* 7 – 40 to 60
* 9 – more than 60%
28. What percentage of your volunteers is male?
* 1 – Less than 10
* 3 – 10 to 20
* 5 – 20 to 40
* 7 – 40 to 60
* 9 – more than 60%
29. Think about your midweek activities. What percentage of your adult participants are male?
* 1 – Less than 10
* 3 – 10 to 20
* 5 – 20 to 40
* 7 – 40 to 60
* 9 – more than 60%
30. What percentage of your church staff is male? (count ministry and office staff, but not custodial & building maintenance)
* 1 – Less than 10
* 3 – 10 to 20
* 5 – 20 to 40
* 7 – 40 to 60
* 9 – more than 60%
31. If your church offers a men’s ministry program, does the pastor participate?
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Rarely
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Often
* 9 – Always
32. Your Children’s Sunday school format is.
* 1 – Traditional classroom, lecture style
* 3 – Mostly classroom with some activities
* 5 – Classroom plus active learning
* 7 – Mostly active learning with a bit of lecture
* 9 – All active learning — no lecture
33. Does the high school youth group sing worship songs? If so, how many minutes do they typically sing?
* 1 – More than 30 minutes
* 3 – 30 to 20 minutes
* 5 – 20 to 10 minutes
* 7 – 10 to 5 minutes
* 9 – They do not usually sing
34. In your small groups, how often do you ask people to look up passages in books (including the Bible) and read them aloud?
* 1 – Every time we meet
* 3 – Every other time
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Rarely
* 9 – Never
35. Is your Senior Pastor a strong leader, or more the shepherd type?
* 1 – A gentle shepherd
* 3 – A consensus builder
* 5 – A cautious leader
* 7 – A deliberate leader
* 9 – A charge ahead leader
36. Does your church ever conduct meetings that seem to have lost their purpose?
* 1 – Always
* 3 – Often
* 5 – Once in a while
* 7 – Rarely
* 9 – Never
37. How well known is your church in the wider community?
* 1 – Virtually unknown
* 3 – Known within our denomination
* 5 – Known in our neighborhood
* 7 – Known in our city
* 9 – The best known church in our area
38. Along the same vein, how many times in the past five years has your church done something that generated a news story?
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Once in the past five years
* 5 – Two to three times in the past five years
* 7 – Once in the past year
* 9 – They write about us all the time, many times a year
39. How often does your church attempt big, risky things?
* 1 – Never
* 3 – Rarely
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Often
* 9 – Always
40. How often do male visitors show up without wives or girlfriends?
* 1 – Can’t remember the last one
* 3 – It’s pretty rare
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Pretty often
* 9 – Every week
41. Does your church offer ministries that take advantage of guy-skills (such as car repair, home repair, strategic planning and the like)?
* 1 – None
* 3 – One
* 5 -A couple
* 7 – A few
* 9 – Many
42. What is your ADULT gender ratio in worship?
* 1 – less than 20% male
* 3 – 20 to 30% male
* 5 – 30 to 40 % male
* 7 – 40 to 50 % male
* 9 – more men than women
43. How many worshippers does your congregation welcome on a typical weekend?
* 1 – 100 or fewer
* 3 – 100 to 500
* 5 – 500 to 1,000
* 7 -1,000 to 5,000
* 9 – over 5,000
44. Let’s say a tone-deaf member of your church asks to sing a solo. What will your music director do?
* 1 – Let her make a joyful noise unto the Lord
* 3 – Put her in a trio
* 5 – Put her in the choir, but don’t give her a solo
* 7 – Encourage her to find another ministry, but let her sing
* 9 – Remove her from the choir
45. How is your church’s theology, generally speaking?
* 1 – very liberal
* 3 – leans liberal
* 5 – right in the middle
* 7 – leans conservative
* 9 – very conservative
46. How are people in your church expected to dress?
* 1 – Suit and tie for men, dresses and skirts for women
* 3 – Jackets for men, pant suits for women
* 5 – Business casual
* 7 – Casual Friday (jeans and t-shirts)
* 9 – Anything goes
47. How much does your pastor delegate responsibilities to staff and laypersons?
* 1 – He does it all himself
* 3 – He delegates a few tasks
* 5 – He delegates many tasks
* 7 – He delegates almost everything
* 9 – He delegates too many tasks
48. Let’s say your church has a ministry program that’s outdated, poorly run and not producing much fruit. How will your congregational leaders handle it?
* 1 – Do nothing – just let sleeping dogs lie.
* 3 – Assign a committee to study the problem
* 5 – Shuffle the leadership of the program
* 7 – Phase it out over time
* 9 – Kill it immediately
49. How often does your pastor say something controversial from the pulpit? (Taking a very strong stand on an issue, sure to offend some people)
* 1 – Can’t remember the last time
* 3 – It’s pretty rare
* 5 – Sometimes
* 7 – Pretty often
* 9 – Every week
50. What percentage of your congregational life takes place outdoors?
* 1 – We never meet outdoors
* 3 – Easter sunrise service only
* 5 – We have a few outdoor meetings
* 7 -We’re outdoors quite a bit
* 9 – We’re outdoors all the time
Congratulations! Now add up your score and place it here:
Interpreting your score:
As you’ve probably figured out, the higher the score, the more likely your church is to appeal to men, with some important caveats:
1. Not all men are alike.
2. While a score of 50 would indicate a serious problem reaching men, a score of 450 would not be desirable either. It’s too masculine.
3. The best churches for men will score in the 300s. A score of 350 is just about perfect.
4. As I frequently say, the spiritual trumps the practical. If God’s spirit is living and active in your church, none of this matters. The pastor could preach in a Hello Kitty suit and if God is present, men’s lives will be changed. However, practical things do help men feel more welcome in our houses of worship. Just as a missionary tailors his gospel presentation to the people he’s trying to reach, we must not forget men when we present the gospel.
This article “How Guy Friendly Is Your Church?” by Guy Roomie was excerpted from: www.churchtoday.com website, July 2010. It may be used for study & research purposes only.
This article may not be written by an Apostolic author, but it contains many excellent principles and concepts that can be adapted to most churches. As the old saying goes “Eat the meat. Throw away the bones.”
