HOW TO IMPROVE OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OUR PARENTS
By Angela Mitchell
(14 years old)
Before I share some of the ways I think will help us improve our relationships with our parents, I’d like to ask you a question? “What is the biggest problem we face with people that have authority over us?” (Ex: Parents, Teachers, Youth Leader, Pastor, etc.)
Pride: Pride is an attitude that shows itself in rebellion: and rebellion, the Bible says is as witchcraft (1 Samuel 15:23): it is the result of sin. This attitude fights anyone who might tell us what to do or how to live. When we allow rebellion to control us, it will cause problems not only with those over is but also our walk with God.
First of all, it is very important for us to know that God has given
our parents certain abilities that will help us obtain qualities in our lives that He (God) desires us to have.
1. Our parents have the ability to see events, people and circumstances that will hurt us.
It is very important for us to listen to our parents and take their advice. They are grown ups and have already gone through situations in life that we are about to go through. Our parents have learned valuable lessons from their mistakes and experiences and they do not want us to go through situations that will harm us. It is in our best interest to listen to them. Our parents can give us advice concerning our education. friends, personal responsibilities and so forth because they have been there. It is wise for us to listen and obey them.
2. Our parents also have the ability to see certain attitudes in us that can harm and hurt us for the rest of our lives.
We all think that we know more than our parents but the truth is we do not know half as much as they do. They have been through a lot in their lifetime, we haven’t even started yet . . . so it is important for us to listen and obey them. (Pro. 12:15) “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes; but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” When our parents discipline us, they are aware of our strengths and weaknesses that we might not see. They know some of our attitudes (bad ones) will harm and hurt us for the rest of our lives and must be dealt with now. We should always keep in mind that our parents usually discipline us because they love us and they know what’s best for us even though at times we might not think so.
*Note: It is absolutely important for us to know that God is using our parents to smooth out our bad attitudes. It is wise for use to cooperate with God b obeying our parents as they love, instruct and discipline us.
Some of the Ways That We Need to Take to Improve Our Relationship With Our Parents
1. Ask Your Parents For Forgiveness: Lots of time we say and do things that really hurt our parents feelings. We need to sit down and talk with them. Ask them to forgive you for your bad attitude and all the trouble you have caused them. Straighten things out with your parents and make sure you have their forgiveness.
2. Cooperate With your Parents: Ask your parents to share with you the attitudes you have they do not like. God uses our parents to help us. We should respect God and our parents and cooperate with them, Because if we don’t, God will find another authority figure (Teacher, Police, etc.) to keep working on us. When we allow God to change our bad attitudes, He will see that our parents change as well. (Prov. l5:31- 32; NIV) He who listens to a life-giving rebuke (constructive criticism) will be at home among the wise.”
(Vs: 32) “He who ignores discipline despises himself; but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.”
3. Tell Your Parents you Love Them: Our parents need to hear those words, “I Love You”. We already know our parents love us but we need to let them know we love them too. It may take great courage to show them but it will be worth it. Parents need to be hugged too. (1 John 3: 18) (Living Bible)
“Little children, let us stop just saying we love people: let us really love them, and show it by our actions.”
4. Thank Your Parents for all They Have Done For You: Our parents have sacrificed so much for us. Lots of time we don’t say “Thank You” enough to our parents. We take them for granted most of the time. We need to let them know that we appreciate all they have done for us. I’m working in this area of my life.
5. Avoid arguments: It is so easy for us to disagree with our parents; whatever the disagreement might be; DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE with your parents even if they are raising theirs, because if you do that will be a sure way to start an argument, misunderstanding and hurt feelings (Prov. 15;1) “A soft answer turns away wrath; but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
6. Let God Change Your Parents’ Minds . . . Not You: I know it’s difficult when our parents won’t give us permission to do certain things that we might really want to do. We may not understand why, but we should take our parents word as coming from God. We can go to Him in prayer about the problem. God is powerful and He can work to change our parents’ minds anytime.
7. Use the Over-Obedient Method (To Blow Your Parents’ Mind): If your parents refuse to let you go out with your friends or whatever you have planned . . . . . . But, instead give you chores to do; don’t get upset but instead do an extra one that they did not ask you to do; for example, if your Mom ask you to do the dishes; clean the whole kitchen. If your Dad ask you to mow the lawn; take the trash out too. After a few attempts at this you will begin to see it pay off. (Prov. 25:15 L.B.) “Be patient and you finally win, for a soft tongue can break hard bones.” (Eph. 6:1) “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is good.”
In closing, I would like to say that we should try to see life from our parents point of view. Sometimes they may act and say things that confuse us. It is really easy for us to shut our parents out of our lives. But, instead of ignoring them, we should try to find out what’s bothering them. Your dad might be facing a problem at work, he might not be feeling well, or it may have been a time when he feels lonely… Your mom on the other hand might feel like nobody appreciates her, or she might sense that she isn’t needed; those are times that we need to be understanding and let them know we love them.
(The above information was published by the OHIO APOSTOLIC NEWS, January 1994)
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