Mandate for Men

Men’s Maxims for Maximum Marriage
Paul South

Definition: Maxim… a brief statement of a practical principle or proposition; a proverbial saying

Definition: Maximum… the greatest degree or magnitude that can be assigned

One of the finest statements I ever heard as a challenge to husbands and fathers was this … “The greatest thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother!!” The following principles have evolved out of years of study, counseling and coming to grips with what God is calling me to be as a man, husband and father. Although my own marriage is not perfect we are constantly seeking to improve it. Even good marriages can be better! Because of Jesus Christ we always have hope! I don’t see how husbands and wives can survive and conquer without the strength of one another. In truth, they cannot. These principles are given in only the most abbreviated form. -Dr. H.D. McCarty

1. The first goal of marriage is not your happiness but the glory of God through your changed character.

2. God teaches you by locking you in to a mate just as He has locked Himself in to you.

3. Immature men like to change everything but themselves … they change jobs, wives, location, lifestyle, toys, etc., …but no matter, the message that they themselves must change will pain their consciences wherever they go or whatever they do.

4. To lead a wife, a man must first change himself. Any wife is enough challenge for a man’s leadership. A wife is the greatest message God will ever give a man that he must change his character for the better.

5. A man is to die for his wife just as Christ died for him. Some women are easier to die for than others but that doesn’t change your death. Your death may not seem to pay off while on earth but that is irrelevant to obedience. God alone will evaluate it when you stand before Him.

6. A wife is often an instrument of death to a husband’s ambitions to escape truth. Some deaths are sweeter than others ! !

7. Once you have chosen your wife, God commands you to become her servant. He became our Servant… unto death. No matter what your situation may be-good, bad or worse- God will allow anything that He can use to turn it into a display for his glory.

8. We are to love all people as Christ loved us. You start loving everyone by learning first to love one person honestly. If a man can’t learn to love his wife he will be defective in learning to love anyone else. If you can’t love: (1) the one you chose, (2) the one to whom you owe the most on earth, (3) the one who loves you the most, (4) the one you are commanded to love supremely, and (5) the one who in pain bore your children, etc. , etc. , … you are probably too selfish to love anyone else with purity and honesty and power.

9. A husband of real character can love any wife. God loves and works with you and me and that takes character! Godly character is set to give and embrace for truth’s sake. Weak character has the mind set to take and reject for convenience sake !

10. In marriage God is striving to teach us how to adjust ourselves to the unexpected and the inconvenient; just as we assume the Lord will adjust to our weaknesses and the inconveniences we bring on Him.

11. Our best lessons most often come through the one who knows us best. Our wives and God cannot be fooled; it is either real or fake.

12. A wife may be irritating or unlovable at times but that has nothing to do with our responsibility to show love. Think of how we must “irritate” the Father … as well as our wives!

13. In marriage God is forcing us to accept His principle of “conversion” that we see working in the natural order. The wolf converts the rabbit to food; the plant converts light to growth; the engine converts fuel to power, and man learns to convert responsibility to glory!

14. Your mate might be your “death obedience” for the glory of God. Christ did it for you! Could you do it for someone else? Some might think they are “wasting” their lives on their mate but only eternity will reveal the truth. Has Christ wasted any of His effort on you?

15. In response to every bit of imagined emptiness or rejection your mate has brought to you, you must fill and compensate by learning more of God. Your mate’s “perceived deficiencies” are pointers to God’ s provision.

16. Be sure your expectations for marriage are built on God’ s promise and purpose rather than human fantasy and selfishness. Some things you might have dreamed of in life “will never be” until we enter eternity. Make your temporary adjustments to the glory of God!

17. Remember, the closer a man gets to Christ the greater potential his wife has to change.

18. God’s primary way to chisel us down to size (we totally belong to God to serve His interests before our own) is through the friction of relationships. The Father uses others to “execute the fleshly desires” in our lives. A man’s wife is the primary relationship he has, hence, she is God’s tool of “major chiseling.”

19. We must give ourselves to our wives as Christ continually gives Himself to His Bride (us … the church). Sometimes that takes costly sacrifice, controlled emotions, loving understanding and patience. Be radical about keeping this in your mind.

20. “Will vigorously” to do all that is necessary to enjoy the wonder of the woman God has created and given to you ! Most men suffer from being too shallow to dig for the depth of truth that the Master seeks to show him through his wife.

21. As a Biblical man, your mind is not to be focused on what expectations your wife should fulfill toward you but always on what you are to her.

(The above information was published by VENTURES FOR CHRIST.)

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