“The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice; and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him”
Advice For Raising Young People:
1. Remember: The family atmosphere reflects the attitudes of you, the parents. The way the father and mother face life and treat each other determines how our children view their world and their relationship to others. If the parents are competitive and fight with one another the children will grow up to believe this is what is expected in the world in general.
2. Remember: Make certain all adult role models are living the values you wish your child to simulate. Make certain their peers are the type of friends with the values you wish your child to have.
3. Remember: Young people do not always behave the way we think they should and are not always predictable. They are so boisterous and they do not seem to want or need us anymore. But there is no other age, except the first year of their life when they need us more. Parents, stay involved with your adolescent! They need you!
These are very difficult years for them and for you, their parents. They are preparing to leave your nest which may be hard for you to accept. They need room to experiment with what they have learned.
4. Remember: Young people will constantly be trying their boundaries. It is important for you, the parent, to keep these boundaries in place–for they need them for security. You may have to pad the fences at times in order to give them a safe place to rebel–so that they do not scar themselves permanently for life.
5. Remember: Give them some rope-but not enough to hang themselves. Do not allow them to date too early or be by themselves with their girlfriends for long periods of time. If you do, do not be surprised if “nature” dominates “nurture.”
6. Remember: If you did not settle the problems of the willful nature when they were two years old, you will certainly face them here. I have heard Dr. Cline refer to
teenagers as, “Two-year-olds with hormones and wheels.”
7. Remember: do not be offended if they look up to another adult, other than you the parent, as a model and mentor. It is just part of leaving the nest.
8. Remember: Spiritually they are making up their minds for life–what they will do with all they have been taught. It is a time for cementing their own beliefs. Beliefs are so important, for without a strong belief system it is like a sailor without a compass. “Given your values and your beliefs your beliefs will always come to the fore.”
Your young person may have accepted God and been ‘filled with His Spirit’ during childhood or even adolescence, but they always seem to need to make a fresh commitment as they enter adulthood.
9. Remember: Young people take what has been taught them–the behaviors which allow them to function with others, the values they see modeled by the important people in their lives–and they now put them all together, with the help of the Holy Spirit, into a belief structure which will guide them through life.
10. Remember: Just like Apostle Paul; your young person is in a battle between his natural inherited nature and his spiritual nature. “I am carnal, sold unto sin, but sin that dwelleth in me…for I know that in me, (that is, in my flesh) dwelleth no good thing…l find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me” (Romans 7).
Help him/her understand this conflict is natural, but that with Jesus Christ by their side there is victory and peace.
If there are questions you would like to see discussed on this page, you may write Bro. Reynolds at the address below.
6930 S.E. 262nd Gresham, Oregon 97080