Why John Doe Isn’t Coming to Church

Why John Doe Isn’t Coming to Church
Todd Rhoades

Recently, my friend Ed Stetzer gave a presentation at the International Christian Men’s Fellowship on some of the research he’s doing at LifeWay.
He shared the top reasons they’ve found that why young men are dropping out of church these days. Among the reasons:

1. They simply want a break from church (27%);
2. They felt church members are judgmental and/or hypocritical (26%);
3. They moved to college and didn’t find another church (25%);
4. They have work responsibilities that keep them from attending (23%);
5. They moved too far from church (22%);
6. They just got too busy, even though they’d still like to attend (22%);
7. They didn’t feel connected to the church in the first place (20%);
8. They disagreed with the church’s political/social stance (18%);
9. They decided to spend more time with friends (17%);
10. They were just going to church to please their parents (17%).

That is some interesting information. I’d love to see how this meshes with the reasons that older men leave the church. I think there are similarities, regardless of age. One of the biggest reasons men give for dropping out of church is that they feel people in the church are judgmental and hypocritical. Another reason often given is work responsibilities. And then there are those who just want a break, others who have moved and haven’t reconnected with a new church, or are just too busy. And these days, many of us disagree with the church’s political and/or social views. And just going to church to please your parents? Well that’s still a good
excuse, no matter your age. Except maybe it’s your spouse, or another family member you’re aiming to please. Why do people leave your church? No, really. Why do people leave? Think of the last 5 families that have left your church. Do you even know why they left? And did you or anyone discuss their decision with them after they left? Young men AND adults leave churches for the silliest reasons. Sometimes a gentle prodding or talk can rescue them from their inactivity in the
church. Sometimes not. But too often, we just let them go. We allow their laziness or lousy reasoning to keep them from our or any church, and stand by as they distance themselves from the One who wants, more than anything, to have a day-by-day relationship with them. Is there someone you should call today to say, “Hey, how are you doing? I’ve been missing you?”

From: www.outreach.com web site. August 2008

This article may not be written by an Apostolic author, but it contains many excellent principles and concepts that can be adapted to most
churches. As the old saying goes, “Eat the meat. Throw away the bones.�”