You Know You’re A Mother When


You have to go to the potty instead of the ladies’ room.

You are shopping alone and you keep looking behind you for the kids.

You tell a stranger to sit up straight on the bus.

You don’t buy a blouse you love because it’s white and will stain, is  of permanent press, or you need money for shoes for the kids or the orthodontist.

You get a tin can pencil holder covered with construction paper and a crayon for your birthday.

On Mother’s Day, you get a flower in a milk carton from the kids, and a new vacuum cleaner form your husband.

You count down the minutes of the last half hour before the kids’ bedtime. You know the names of all the characters on Sesame Street.

You spend a week before Christmas searching in every store for a stupid, over-priced toy because your child asked Santa for it at the mall.

Every doorknob in your house sticky.

You start choosing breakfast cereals for their prizes instead of their nutritional values.

You play peek-a-boo while trying to read the newspaper.

You dread report-card day more than when you were in school.