Only In America
~ Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
~ Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
~ Only in America do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
~ Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
~ Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
~ Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
~ Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
~ Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
~ Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
~ Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
~ Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
~ Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
~ Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
~ Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called ‘rush hour’?
~ Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
~ Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
~ Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
~ You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
~ Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
~ Why are they called “apartments” when they are all stuck together?
~ I like this one!!! If “con” is the opposite of “pro”, is Congress the opposite of progress?
~ If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal”?
This article “Only In America” by Nitty Witty was excerpted from: www.timetosmile.com website. July 2010. It may be used for study & research purposes only.
This article may not be written by an Apostolic author, but it contains many excellent principles and concepts that can be adapted to most churches. As the old saying goes “Eat the meat. Throw away the bones.”